I have included this transcript of my "Impress" presentation of "5 Success Tips for Your Intimate Relationship: How to build and maintain an awesome personal relationship." Here it is:
Successfully managing your intimate relationship with your husband, wife, life partner—your beloved is one of the most rewarding things we can do in life. The love that flows from intimate relationships satisfies our most basic human need: the need to give and receive love with another human being.
1) Begin with your primary relationship: the one with your own self.
Take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spritually first, so that you have a deep well filled with energy, love and compassion.
Before tinkering with your intimate relationship, make sure you solidify the relationship you have with yourself. You cannot give away what you do not have, as you've heard before, so give to yourself first.
2) Identify your own needs and take the responsibility for meeting those needs.
Taking responsbility for your own “stuff” frees you from dependance on another for your “happiness.”
Once you have your self-care habits in place, learn to identify and meet your own needs. No one can understand the depth of how you experience met needs but you. It is not the other person's responsibility to ever meet your needs. They do so because they want to and they love you. If you would like your intimate to meet some of your needs, and they will, make sure you clarify and detail how to meet those needs. Then, be willing to let your intimate follow through, without expecting perfection.
3) Relax your ego's compulsion to judge your intimate.
Realizing that another person has different motivations, goals and attitudes about their life and their beliefs. This manifests into behavors that you may not understand, at least at first. Honor you differences, rather than resisting them.
Your intimate acts as a mirror to your own behaviors. Look to your intimate as an opportunity to challenge and change your own behavior. Divert your microscope away from the other person and train it upon yourself, the one person you really only have any control over to change. Allow the other person to be themselves, and to do things in their own time. When addressing issues and problems that arise, set a system in place that helps to navigate those issues and problems before intense emotions cause irrational behavior or angry expressions.
4) Demonstrate appreciation daily for your intimate partner in life.
Small gestures, a hug, a kiss, an “I'm so lucky to be with you” keep you connected far more than ignoring the person for days and compensating with one grand gesture.
When my beloved comes home from the office, I applaud and cheer. It puts a smile on his face and leaves any negativity at the door.
5) Keep your relationship active and inspiring.
Nurture your friendship and grow it, or it will die. Examples: Discover something you didn't know about your intimate. Have conversations. Learn new things together. Visit unfamiliar places and play!
The quality of your intimate relationships color all the other areas of your life, including your work or business. Who feels like contributing when your heart is aching and your emotions jumbled and confused due to turmoil with your intimate? Aliens maybe, but not us.
Master your intimate relationship and watch your life flow with humility and compassion!